WELCOME TO GAY MEN’S HEALTH
SCOTLAND’S CHARITY FOR GAY MEN
FUCKING
Fucking can be great and for many people it is the ultimate sexual goal. For other it’s not. You might do it every now and again. It might be something that you only do within the context of a loving relationship. You might never, ever want to do it.
Or it might be something that you do every time you have sex. You know what the best bit is? All of that is fine.
There are no rules. Oh and just for the record, fucking someone doesn’t make you a man any more than being fucked makes you less of a man. Never fucking doesn’t make you an inadequate gay man either. It’s is all about what you do or don’t want to do.
If you don’t have a lot of experience in fucking, or being fucked, you might have a few worries. Everyone does. For most people the first time they get fucked it will hurt a bit.
When you are getting fucked relaxing those sphincter muscles is important so don’t rush things. Many men find that having their partner finger their ass or rim them can make it more comfortable when the actual fucking happens.
When it comes to being fucked here's a good rule of thumb: if it hurts, chances are you're doing something wrong. Most likely you're rushing to get that cock inside you (or he's rushing to get it in) ... but you need to slow down!
If you're not used to being fucked, or indeed are new to it, you should find this method pretty much pain-free:
1) Ask him to lie on his back, and keep still
2) Kneel over him, with your arse over his cock
3) Lower yourself onto his cock and push down until just just begins to hurt
4) Ease off slightly so that you're applying as much pressure as you can without it being sore
5) Wait! This is be difficult if you're feeling impatient, but you need to keep that level of pressure on your arse until...
6) After a short while (usually up to 30 seconds) your sphincter (the muscle at the opening of your arse) will grow tired of the pressure and simply relax. You should then suddenly feel his cock slide into you ... pretty painlessly!
7) Once his cock's inside you, stay still and give yourself a few seconds to get used to how it feels.
8) Try bouncing gently on his cock. The really advantage of this position is that you're largely in charge of how deep, how fast and at what angle he goes. (Assuming he's still lying still that is!)
If for some reason this position doesn't work for you, a variation that some guys find easier is for both of you to lie on your side, facing the same direction.
Another tip if you're finding it difficult/painful to get it in, can be to push out a little (like you do when you go to the toilet) when he is trying to enter you, it will make it easier and more comfortable.
Once you're feeling confident and comfortable, you could go for another position all together - you should now be able to get his cock back in fairly easily when you need to.
Other great positions to try when you're ready are:
1) Start on your back with him kneeling between your legs. Lift your legs so that they are resting on his shoulders. One big advantage of this one is that you can look into each other's eyes.
2) On all fours with him kneeling behind you. You can't really see him, but the sensation is very different to that in (1) - you might prefer it. And of course, if you're so inclined you can pretend he's Jake Gyllenhaal.
The important thing is to take your time. Get used to how it feels to have another man’s cock inside you.
And even more importantly - be safe! Unprotected fucking carries the highest risk of HIV infection … so using a condom will drastically reduce the likelihood of HIV and other sexually transmitted infections being passed between you. And remember when it comes to fucking there is no such thing as too much lubrication! (There's more information on safer fucking below.)
It’s pretty hard to damage the inside of your arse too - unless you put something sharp up your arse. Don’t worry, a cock is way too blunt and flexible to do much damage.
Your sphincter can stretch much more than you would expect and will go back to its normal position. If you are into fisting or use large sex toys on a regular basis then you may have a higher risk of stretching your muscles that could lead to incontinence in later.
Not everyone enjoys their first time being fucked, or even the second or third ... but guys often enjoy it more and more as they get used to it.
On the other hand, some guys just seem to take to it like a duck to water!
What if you simply don’t like it though? Well, don’t do it again. Never let anyone tell you that you have to fuck or be fucked to have a good sex life.
Fucking, like all sex is something that you will do when you want to, and with whom you want to do it. It is always your decision. Don’t do it just to please someone.
Don’t feel like you have to do it to get your gay membership card, and don’t let anyone force you into doing it when you'd rather not.
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