Gay Men's Health: Scotland's Charity for Gay Men |bars

WELCOME TO GAY MEN’S HEALTH

SCOTLAND’S CHARITY FOR GAY MEN

BARS &

CLUBS

For some, the gay scene plays a huge in their lives. It’s a safe space where you can be yourself and relax. You can grab yourself that quick shag or track down that all-elusive future boyfriend. You can eat, drink, flirt, and be very, very merry with like minded people in your very own little gay Mecca. And you needn’t worry about those unwanted homophobic stares or worse.

For others, the scene is to be avoided at all costs. It’s a cliquey, bitchy place where if your hair, skin, clothing, drink, age, shoes, music taste and salary aren’t all just what they should be then you may as well just not bother. Ironically, being in a pub surrounded by other gay men can be one of the most lonely and isolating feelings imaginable.

There’s truth and validity in both of these viewpoints. Most of us probably have a viewpoint that lies somewhere in between, visiting the scene as and when the mood or urge takes us.

There can be many barriers to using the scene. For example, they tend to be in bigger cities, and if you don’t live in those cities then having to travel to them can make things more tricky. Also, gay bars (just like any bars) can be a bit pricey.

Certainly if meeting men is your objective, the scene probably needs to at least be considered, though of course it isn’t your only option by a long stretch.

Some men prefer to hunt the scene alone, others go in packs. Some will boldly walk up to the object of their attraction and start chatting them up, others will stay back a bit and flirt. Others again will leave the onus on others and wait to “get noticed”.

Whatever you’re doing to pick up guys in a bar, basic common sense still applies.

1) Persistence is not a bad thing, but don’t harass

2) A drink or two can steady the nerves and help you make that crucial first move, but know your limits.

3) As hinted at earlier, the pressure to look the part on the scene can be dramatic but you shouldn’t be scared to be yourself and look the way you feel most comfortable.

4) Your own physical safety is of paramount importance - take care as best you can, particularly if you pull and leave the bar with him.