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When you're young and in love

Love is a wonderful thing. When people first get into a relationship, loads of stuff just goes out the window. Being in love can push other priorities, like work, friends and family to the sidelines. New research from LGBT Youth Scotland has shown that safer sex can also get pushed out.

With sexually transmitted infections (STI) at an all time high, lots of sexual health campaigns are being targeted at single people. LGBT Youth Scotland's research, though, identified that 67% of young gay and bisexual men in relationships have fucked without a condom in the last six months, compared to only 39% of single gay and bisexual men.

These facts are supported by other research being done. An article from the Netherlands identifies 86% of new HIV infections in young gay men in Amsterdam occurring between people in steady relationships. So, what' s going on?

Well, probably love is. The last thing many new couples want to do is have a bit of rubber come between their newly found intimacy. Even when couples begin with safer sex as a priority they often start to use condoms less and less as the months and years pass.

The majority of gay men still expect their sexual partners to disclose their HIV status. However, the government estimates that a third of the people living with HIV in the UK don't know their status. And it' s not like you can tell someone is HIV just by looking at them.

There are lots of things that men entering new relationships, as well as those who have been in relationships for a while, can do to make their sexual lives together safer.

TALK ABOUT SEX

Talking about sex isn't enough, but it' s a good start. Talking about the sex you have both had in the past doesn't give you an idea of whether either of you have an STI; anyone can get an STI from just one unsafe contact.

Talking about sex is hard. It means also chatting about stuff that maybe you' d prefer not to think about. It' s a good idea to talk about what happens if one of you plays away and sleeps with someone else. Are you going to be open about it? Just going to keep it a secret? What happens if the sex was unsafe?

If you are in an open relationship; understanding what the boundaries are, can help both of you understand and manage any risks.

Talking helps to develop trust and can make relationships stronger. It can also make it easier to chat about maybe using condoms again if one of you feels they want to, or if sex has been unsafe with someone else.

GET TESTED TOGETHER

Not everyone wants to use condoms once they get into a relationship and, with a little planning and trust, having sex without condoms can be a more pleasurable option for some couples.

Whether your relationship is monogamous or open, it is important to start by taking a positive step together. Getting tested together is easy and free. Arrange a joint appointment at your local GUM clinic. Before you go though, chat about what it would mean if any of your results came back positive for an STI or HIV. Once there, you can have a full sexual health test.

Of course, there is nothing to stop you using condoms throughout your relationship. For many couples, especially where one or both partners is living with HIV, condoms are still the best option. For some people the whole process of getting tested and the idea of the unknown around the results is just too much. Condoms are the easiest way for them to stay safe until they feel better about confronting these issues.

Relationships can be great, but many couples still talk more about the livingroom's décor than about the sex they have together. Talking about sex can be hard, even with someone you love, but by being aware and open, you can help each other stay safe.